In an abusive relationship, one of the most powerful things you can do is take steps to protect your privacy. Technology can be a lifeline, connecting you to friends, family, and support networks, but it can also be misused by abusers to monitor or control you. Securing your devices is an essential step in reclaiming your independence and keeping yourself safe. Here’s Part 2 of our friendly guide to help you get started.
1. Start with Strong Passwords
Your passwords are the keys to your digital life, so it’s crucial to make them strong and unique. Avoid common passwords like “123456” or “password,” and don’t use anything an abuser could easily guess, like your pet’s name, your birthday or your favourite group or TV show.
Instead, create passwords that are long and random. A good example is using a phrase with numbers and symbols, like “Sunflower&Cloud7!”. If you have trouble remembering them, you can use a password manager, which securely stores all your passwords for you.
2. Enable Two-Factor Authentication (2FA)
Two-factor authentication adds an extra layer of security to your accounts. Even if someone gets hold of your password, they won’t be able to log in without a second piece of information—like a code sent to your phone or email.
Check the settings of your most important accounts (email, social media, banking) and turn on 2FA. This small step makes a huge difference in keeping your accounts secure.
3. Update Your Software Regularly
Software updates might seem annoying, but they’re essential for your safety. Many updates fix security holes that hackers—or even abusers—could exploit.
Make sure your phone, apps, and computer are set to update automatically. If you’ve been avoiding updates, now is the perfect time to catch up!
4. Clear Your Browsing History
If you’re researching ways to leave an abusive relationship or looking for support, it’s important to clear your browsing history so it doesn’t leave a trail.
Here’s how to do it:
On most browsers (like Chrome or Safari), go to the history tab and choose “Clear Browsing Data.”
Make sure to delete cookies, cached images, and search history.
Use Incognito Mode or Private Browsing in the future—it doesn’t save history at all.
5. Watch Out for Spyware
Some abusers install spyware on their partner’s devices to track everything they do. This can include seeing your messages, locations, or even listening to your calls. If your device feels slower, gets hot for no reason, or behaves oddly, it’s worth checking for spyware.
You can run an anti-virus or anti-spyware program (many are free online) to detect and remove harmful software. If you think spyware is installed but don’t want to alert your abuser, consider using a friend’s phone or a public computer for sensitive activities.
6. Create a Backup Plan
It’s always good to have a backup plan in case something goes wrong. Keep a list of trusted contacts you can reach out to if you need help. Write down important phone numbers and keep them somewhere safe, like in a notebook or a hidden place.
7. Trust Your Instincts
Lastly, if something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. You know your situation better than anyone else. If you suspect your abuser is monitoring you, consider reaching out to us or another specialist organisation in your area. We can provide advice tailored to your situation.
Beyond managing your device settings, adopting safe online habits can help keep you protected:
8. Be Mindful of Who You Trust:
Only share your location with people you trust completely. Even well-meaning friends or family could accidentally reveal your whereabouts. If you haven’t confided in anyone about the abuse, they may not understand why you want to keep your location private.
Our free, 24/7 helpline is open every single day of the year (yes, even including Christmas Day) and you can confide in our friendly female team. Call us for free on: 0808 800 0340
- Check Before You Post: Avoid sharing photos or updates in real time. Wait until you’ve left a location before posting about it online. Remember that abusers are manipulative and strategic, so think about whether you need to share the information at all. Yes, this makes things less spontaneous and perhaps takes away some fun, but your safety and your life are worth more than that.
- Communicate Securely: Use encrypted messaging apps like Signal or Telegram for communication.
- Seek Support: If you’re unsure about your online safety, seek help from a trusted friend, family member, or domestic abuse support organisation. If you’re in Nottingham or Nottinghamshire we can help you.
We are here to help you. Our helpline is run by a friendly and supportive team of women who will listen to you and your story. It’s a familiar story to them, so they won’t be shocked by anything you say. But we know this story can have a happy outcome. That you can live free from fear. Juno will help you get there and be by your side every step of the way.
Calls to the helpline are free from landlines and mobile phones within the UK and do not appear on itemised bills.
Helpline: 0808 800 0340
Sometimes our helpline is busy and you might not get through the first time, so please try again. We will always call you back if you leave a message stating it is safe to do so and if you leave us a safe contact number in your message.
If you are hearing impaired, text “Relay/NGT” to 18001 0808 800 0340. This option is available 24-hours a day, 365 days a year.
You can also email us on [email protected] 9 am – 9 pm.
Please note, we may not be able to respond to emails straight away, but will try to reply within 24 hours.
The deaf health charity Signhealth also runs a domestic abuse support service, DeafHope, using British Sign Language (BSL).