Domestic abuse doesn’t have an age limit, but older women experiencing abuse are often less visible. With age comes a unique set of challenges.
These could include:
- social isolation,
- declining health or mobility,
- the presence of dementia,
- financial and emotional upheaval,
- and beliefs around disclosing abuse.
All of which can make abuse of older women even more difficult to identify or escape. And older women might not recognise what’s happening as abuse, or they may feel like it’s too late to change things. Does this ring a bell with you?
Well, if it does, we want you to know that we understand. And at Juno, we want to say clearly: it’s never too late. Every woman deserves to live free from fear, violence, and control – at any stage of life.
Types of Abuse and Abusers
Types of Abuse
Older women can experience all types of abuse, just the same as any other woman. Abuse can be psychological, emotional, financial, physical, sexual and controlling behaviour.
Psychological and emotional abuse can include shouting, threats, gaslighting, and undermining your confidence. Often, these behaviours are subtle or disguised, making them harder to recognise.
To better understand this, you may find our blog on coercive control helpful:
What does coercive control look like?
Financial abuse may include someone taking your money, using bank cards without permission, or pressuring you into changing your will or other important documents, such as Power of Attorney. You may be reliant on your husband’s pension, or unaware of your financial situation because it’s being controlled.
There is also something called “cuckooing”, where someone moves into a vulnerable person’s home and takes over – often under the guise of helping. This happens because older women are kind, trusting, and want to help. But this kindness can be exploited. In these situations, the woman may feel frightened in her own home, unable to speak out or unsure who to trust. If this is you, know that we can help you.
Physical abuse can include hitting, pinching or burning, but it can also be things like pushing and shoving, or things can be made to look ‘accidental’. For example, someone washing your hair with scalding water and pretending they “got the temperature wrong.” Abuse that is meant to hurt but masked as care can be particularly distressing.
Sexual abuse happens to women of all ages. Unfortunately, older women can feel especially isolated and ashamed if this happens to them. This is because in past generations, these things weren’t ever discussed openly. So, you may find it difficult to talk about. But please know: at Juno, we believe you and we can support you.
Whatever you’re facing, Juno can help. You are not alone.
Types of Abusers
Abuse is often from a partner or husband, but not always. For older women, it can also come from adult children, grandchildren, or even trusted friends.
In cases of child-to-parent abuse, many survivors feel too ashamed to speak out. You might feel responsible for the perpetrator’s behaviour, especially if they are your child. These feelings can stop you from seeking support. Please know this abuse is never your fault.
Some older survivors also face barriers to safe contact. If you live with the perpetrator and you’re both retired, it can be hard to find time alone to reach out. You may also share a phone or email account with the abuser, or feel unconfident using technology.
There are solutions. We recommend visiting a GP surgery – and it doesn’t have to be your own – and asking for help to call Juno. They can provide a private space to do this. Libraries and Women’s Centres should also offer this support. The staff in all these places should be trained in what to do when a woman asks for this service, so they should know how to help.
When you ring our helpline, you will find our team are friendly and kind. They are also skilled and discreet. They will help you find a safe way to communicate – there are many options, though we can’t detail them here for safety reasons. You won’t be pressured to say or do anything. We simply offer a calm, confidential space to talk.
Abuse and Health Issues
Abuse can seriously impact your health, physically and emotionally. Older survivors may develop new symptoms such as high blood pressure, fatigue, or stomach issues. Existing conditions like arthritis, heart issues, or diabetes can worsen due to stress.
Mobility challenges can make it difficult to flee in an emergency or access refuge spaces. This can make survivors feel trapped. However, accessible refuge spaces are available, and both Juno in Nottinghamshire, and The Canaan Trust in Derbyshire, can explore options that meet your needs. Please don’t think that you won’t find safety because of your accessibility needs.
Sometimes dementia is a factor. Older survivors may be dealing with dementia, and this makes them increasingly vulnerable. If the perpetrator has dementia, their behaviour can become unpredictable or aggressive. Abuse under these circumstances is still abuse, and it is never acceptable. Everyone should live a life free from abuse.
Not surprisingly, mental health may also suffer. You might feel anxious, depressed, overwhelmed or even have suicidal thoughts. Please don’t suffer in silence. There is help.
Ingrained Beliefs
Social media has helped younger women recognise abuse and seek help. But older women may have been raised not to “air dirty laundry” or speak about “private family matters.”
You may feel deep shame for even thinking about disclosing abuse. But please know:
The shame is not yours to carry.
You are not responsible for the abuse.
You deserve peace, dignity, and love – at any age.
It is never “too late” to change your situation. You are not “too old” to deserve respect and freedom.
You are never too old to take steps towards a life where you feel safe and valued.
How We Help
At Juno, we understand the unique pressures older women face. That’s why we have a specialist member of staff who works specifically with older women affected by domestic abuse. She understands the emotional, practical, and generational barriers that can make speaking up harder, and she’s here to help you.
Here are just some of the ways Juno can help:
- A dedicated support worker who understands abuse in later life
- Support to understand your rights and explore safe options
- Help with housing or safety planning
- Someone to talk to who listens without judgment
- Help navigating care needs, finances or legal processes
- Emotional support to rebuild confidence and wellbeing
Support from Juno is tailored to your needs. It could be helping you feel safe in your own home again, supporting you to make decisions that are right for you, or simply having someone to talk to who truly understands. There is no judgement, and no pressure – just patient, caring support.
Final Thoughts
You are not alone, and you are not invisible. At Juno, we see you, we hear you, and we’re here to help.
Juno Help
Our helpline is open 24/7, every day of the year.
You’ll speak to a warm, knowledgeable woman who understands how complex abuse can be. You’ll never be pressured into making any decisions, you don’t have to share anything you’re not ready to, and you won’t be judged. You’ll be met with warmth, patience, and support whenever you need it. Please, give us a call. We’re waiting to help yo
Calls to our helpline are free from landlines and mobile phones within the UK and do not appear on itemised bills. There is no pressure and everything is confidential.
Helpline: 0808 800 0340
Sometimes our helpline is busy and you might not get through the first time, so please try again. We will always call you back if you leave a message stating it is safe to do so and if you leave us a safe contact number in your message.
If you are hearing impaired, text “Relay/NGT” to 18001 0808 800 0340. This option is available 24-hours a day, 365 days a year.
You can also email us on [email protected] 9 am – 9 pm.
Please note, we may not be able to respond to emails straight away, but will try to reply within 24 hours.
National Help
If you’re further afield, you could contact other charities like Women’s Aid, who have instant messaging and email contact on their website: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) also provide confidential support. They can help you make a safety plan, find safe housing, and access legal protections.
The deaf health charity Signhealth also runs a domestic abuse support service, DeafHope, using British Sign Language (BSL).
The Survivor’s Trust (for sexual abuse and assault support) – www.thesurvivorstrust.org