Self-care can sound like one more thing to do. When you are tired, scared, low, or healing from abuse, even small tasks can feel like a lot. 

But self-care does not have to be fancy. It does not have to cost money. It can be simple and quiet. 

Self-Care Is Not Selfish 

You may have been made to feel that your needs did not matter. You may have been called selfish for resting, saying no, or wanting kindness. 

But you are allowed to care for yourself. 

Self-care is not about ignoring other people. It is about remembering that you matter too. 

Start With Basic Needs 

Sometimes the most powerful self-care is very simple. 

Ask yourself: 

Have I had a drink of water? 
Have I eaten today? 
Do I need rest or sleep? 
Do I need pain relief or medication? 
Do I need to sit down or do I need to move my body? 
Do I need fresh air or sunlight? 

These basic needs are important. They can help you feel so much better. 

Choose Very Small Acts 

If life feels too much, choose tiny steps. 

You could: 

Brush your hair 
Wash your face 
Change your socks, bra or top so you feel fresher 
Open a window 
Make a warm drink 
Put your phone on silent 
Sit in a quiet room 
Step outside for one minute 
Watch something gentle 

Small acts can still be acts of care.  

Make Things Easier 

Self-care can also mean making life less hard. 

You could keep water by your bed. You could put easy food in the cupboard. You could write important numbers in one place. You could leave a clean T-shirt ready for the morning. 

These are kind choices. They can help future you. 

Let Yourself Rest 

Rest is not laziness. Rest is part of healing. 

If your body has lived with fear or stress, it may need more rest than you expect. 

You do not have to earn rest. You are allowed to pause. 

Even just sitting or lying down listening to soft music can help. Or perhaps use a guided meditation from YouTube or Spotify. 

The aim is to lower your adrenaline level. This can be very high because of domestic abuse. 

So let yourself rest and feel good about it. You’re doing a really worthwhile thing. 

Safe Connection Counts Too 

Self-care can include speaking to someone safe. 

This might be a friend, support worker, GP, helpline worker, neighbour, or trusted family member. 

You do not have to tell them everything. You can start with one sentence, such as: 

I am having a hard day. 
Can you stay on the phone for a bit? 
I need some support. 

Most people will respond kindly. We can guarantee that our friendly and supportive helpline workers will always be supportive and listen to you. 

Final Thoughts 

Self-care does not have to be big to be brave. Every small act of kindness towards yourself is a sign that you are worth caring for. We know that you are worth caring for. Start to believe that yourself, too, and life can really change in many positive ways. 

Need Support? We Can Help. 

You do not have to cope on your own. Our helpline is run by a compassionate, all-women team who will treat what you say with care and confidence. We will not pressure you to make any decision or contact you unexpectedly. We can help you find safe ways to get support. We have been doing this for many years and you are safe with us. 

Calls to our helpline are free from landlines and mobile phones within the UK and do not appear on itemised bills. There is no pressure and everything is confidential. 

Helpline: 0808 800 0340 

Sometimes our helpline is busy and you might not get through the first time, so please try again. We will always call you back if you leave a message stating it is safe to do so and if you leave us a safe contact number in your message. 

If you are hearing impaired, text “Relay/NGT” to 18001 0808 800 0340. This option is available 24-hours a day, 365 days a year. 

You can also email us on [email protected] 9 am – 9 pm. 

Please note, we may not be able to respond to emails straight away, but will try to reply within 24 hours.  

National Help 

If you’re further afield, you could contact other charities like Women’s Aid, who have instant messaging and email contact on their website: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/ 

The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) also provide confidential support. They can help you make a safety plan, find safe housing, and access legal protections. 

The deaf health charity Signhealth also runs a domestic abuse support service, DeafHope, using British Sign Language (BSL). 

The Survivor’s Trust (for sexual abuse and assault support) – www.thesurvivorstrust.org