After experiencing domestic abuse, it’s common to feel like you’ve lost your sense of power – over your choices, your life, even your voice. Abuse takes away control bit by bit, often leaving you feeling small, uncertain, and drained. But here’s the truth: your power never truly left you. It was hidden, silenced, or pushed aside. And now, step by step, you can bring it back.
Just by reading this, you’re showing strength. You’re seeking answers, comfort, or clarity – and that’s an act of reclaiming your life.
What Does Power Mean?
Power doesn’t mean shouting the loudest or taking on the world in one go. It means feeling safe to be yourself. It’s about making decisions that reflect your needs, values, and hopes – not someone else’s demands. Power is calm, steady, and often quiet. It grows as you start trusting yourself again.
Ways to Start Reclaiming Your Power
1. Make Small Choices Every Day
Abuse often involves someone else making all the decisions. Start with small ones: what you eat, what you wear, what TV you watch or what music you play. Each decision is a message to yourself: I am in charge of me.
2. Use Your Voice
This might mean saying no, setting boundaries, or simply telling your story to someone safe. Speaking up – even in small ways – can feel incredibly powerful. You matter. What you say matters.
3. Set Boundaries
You have the right to say no, to protect your time and space, and to walk away from people who drain or disrespect you. Setting boundaries isn’t rude – it’s healthy and necessary. And you can read more about empowering yourself with boundaries here: https://junowomensaid.org.uk/steps-to-rebuilding-your-life-after-domestic-abuse/
4. Focus on What You Can Control
Some days, you may feel overwhelmed. Bring your focus back to what’s in your hands: how you respond, what you prioritise, who you speak to. You can’t control everything, but you can always choose how to treat yourself.
5. Celebrate Your Progress
Every small win is a victory. Getting out of bed, making a phone call, asking for help from Juno or a friend, writing in a journal – these are signs of strength. Keep noticing and celebrating them.
You Are Not Broken
Abuse can leave you feeling like you’ve been shattered. But brokenness is not who you are – something happened to you that makes you feel that way, but you are stronger than you realise. And you are healing. You are growing. And one day you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come. Keep going. And if it helps, let us walk the path beside you. We’re here to help, 24/7, every day of the year.
Final Thoughts
Regaining your power doesn’t happen all at once. But it does happen, bit by bit, with patience and care. The fact that you are reading this, thinking about your future, and wanting something better — that’s power already. Keep going. You’re doing better than you think. We’re all here rooting for you!
Juno Help
Our friendly, 24/7 helpline team are always here for you. They understand what domestic abuse feels like and will never judge or be shocked. Whatever you’re going through, you’re not alone – we will always listen, support, and help you take the next step at your pace.
Calls to our helpline are free from landlines and mobile phones within the UK and do not appear on itemised bills. There is no pressure and everything is confidential.
Helpline: 0808 800 0340
Sometimes our helpline is busy and you might not get through the first time, so please try again. We will always call you back if you leave a message stating it is safe to do so and if you leave us a safe contact number in your message.
If you are hearing impaired, text “Relay/NGT” to 18001 0808 800 0340. This option is available 24-hours a day, 365 days a year.
You can also email us on [email protected] 9 am – 9 pm.
Please note, we may not be able to respond to emails straight away, but will try to reply within 24 hours.
National Help
If you’re further afield, you could contact other charities like Women’s Aid, who have instant messaging and email contact on their website: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) also provide confidential support. They can help you make a safety plan, find safe housing, and access legal protections.
The deaf health charity Signhealth also runs a domestic abuse support service, DeafHope, using British Sign Language (BSL).
The Survivor’s Trust (for sexual abuse and assault support) – www.thesurvivorstrust.org